Posted in General Posts by Michelle Lasko on 5/24/2012
It is common knowledge that women are know to carry lots of baggage in travelling. However, we are more well known to carry other baggage in our hearts and minds. Let me just be clear and blunt when I say that women are known for walking in insecurities. You have them, I have them, and for the sake of mankind and our dignity (or just mine) the whole world has them.
At times I believe we enjoy it, because we at times use our insecurities to gain attention from other women, but mostly men. You know it's true, and they know it's true.
When a man compliements us saying things such as, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world." , "You have no idea how much I appreciate you", or "I love you!". We become mush. Our thoughts say "Finally someone who LOVES ME!! Hallelujah!"
It's not really that simple though is it?
If the same man hasn't compliemented you for two days we (and or I) think "Dear goodness, he hates me!" Then insecurities come flushing right back into our life. We once again believe we are worthless, ugly, fat, dumb, and the list could go on.
We have it all backwards.
The problem isn't just the insecurity. Our minds and hearts need renewed, but not by a man. Sure they're handsome, but having one doesn't mean you feel beautiful all the time. We need our hearts and minds renewed and covered by a God who created all things and tell us the TRUTH about who we are.
It's not an easy process, but if we are willing to look at our insecurities, whatever they are, and bring them to God. He will bring light, truth and beauty to our pain.
Let me share with you.
For me I struggle with believing the truth that I am innocent. At some point, I'm not certain when, I started believing that I was a whore. I took the absolute truth, and rejected it and took what I believe for myself to an extremely opposite spectrum. Never have I sold myself for sexual relations. Fact is, I have never even had them.
So why believe the lie?
To be honest, I don't have much of an idea. I know that in the past, my clothing choice has been compared to that of a prostitute, and perhaps friends that I care about enjoy sex to the point of having it before marriage. It doesn't change that I love them, but maybe deep down I associate their actions with having to be very much a part of me.
You know the idea you are what you eat. Or you are like the people you spend time with. Again, how far from the truth are we? Jesus spend his time with rufians and thugs, harlots and tax collectors. The lover of the world used Paul, a man who had made it his mission to murder Christians. Jesus spending time with all those people didn't make him any of those things.
So why think such things?
We shouldn't. It's not what Jesus intended for us. He's the one who covers us with purity, innocence, and His love. If we can grasp that truth and never let it go we could be on our way to the women he desires. If we offer up our thoughts about our holes, emptiness and insecurities to God, He will exchange them for what He says to be true about us.
If we did this wouldn't it be enough?
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Posted in General Posts by Michelle Lasko on 5/17/2012
Who knew my skill for making Chewbacca noises would come in handing so much on the race? Sure I enjoy making the random outburst of noise, but this month particularily I am finding that my noises are a hit with the kiddies of Los Gozosos.
There is one little girl, Helen, who loves ALL the noises I make. From the creepy, rasppy, deep, scary voice, to scuttle (of the Little Mermaid), to happy trills, and chewbacca.
Helen will usually say "Mama!"
Where I would respond "Helen!"
Then Helen will make a loud burst of a noise. Or an attempt to make a sound I have previously made. Then I will usually make the same sound or a new one and she will just giggle. Which I have to say might be one of the cutest laughs ever.
I never thought my silliness, or well the strange noise that I am able to make would bring a little heaven to earth for a child/children, but it has.
http://youtu.be/Pr3sBks5o_8
Thank you for reading.. I hope this noise is lovely to your ears...
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Posted in General Posts by Michelle Lasko on 5/15/2012
Yesterday was one of those days where it seemed everything was wrong, even if it wasn't. I woke up still slightly frustrated from the previous evening's feedback.
{ Can I just say sometimes I believe people use feedback as a way to complain. Which there should be feedback for molesting it in such a manner. Making situations about ourselves rather than calling up, by complaining about how we and/or I could be better served. Somehow, these thoughts were my thoughts yesterday. }
The day persisted to bring me to exhaustion. With the morning starting at 5:00 am to change and get the kiddies dressed. Followed by breakfast prep, breakfast, clean up, therapy, washing car seats, and by this time it had not even been 10 am yet.
Lets just say I didn't wake up in the best mood, and my attempt to listen to music { which tends to be what soothes me, and lift my spirits more } and spend time with God was a fail. I found myself frustrated, feeling as if I was giving 110%, while the spirit of comparisson was saying "Gahh...that's all they're doing... { thinking team mates weren't giving their all }..." Again, not the best thoughts.
About 20 minutes before lunch I found myself outside my tent, just crying. I hate feeling disconnected from God. It seemed like all I tried at the time whether it be working more, listening to worship or simply just trying to talk to Him. All that I felt was frustration about the day, ministry and others. No bueno.
By the middle of the day, Jenn { my new team leader } said " Go take a nap, you're doing too much."
At which point, someone said "Michelle can you do this for me?"
And you know what I said? I said "Nope, my team leader told me told me to take a nap" Which I went back to my home and tent and went to sleep. Which happened to help.
Thinking about it now. I had received a note during debrief, that says "My beloved, hear my voice, it calls out to you! My hands hold healing, My voice authority, Come away with me to a deserted place and REST a while. Let my voice be all you hear.."
That is all I needed, and need. Rest, silence, and sometime solice time with God.
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Posted in Choosing Joy by Michelle Lasko on 5/10/2012
I officially became an AUNTIE a month ago today!
See that cute little baby amidst two other cute children!?! Well, his name is Elijah James Ivan Lasko. My big brother's first baby.
Not being home for the process or birth was kind of saddening. However, I cannot wait to meet the little man, get him some TOMS and snuggle him!
Though I missed everything my family got to see happen, and might miss first steps (I know 3 months, but hey, he's a Lasko) or words. The life I am living I wouldn't trade it.
I am missing family, but in exchange I get to see God's family across the WORLD!!!
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Posted in General Posts by Michelle Lasko on 5/10/2012
I feel I have NO TIME for blogging! Or so it seems. Somehow I have neglected the whole month of Serbia, of which at some point I will get to that asap. I hope I can do a better job of sitting and keeping blogging apart of ministry, just as much as where I am located.
Love you all and I will do better at keeping you up to date.
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Posted in General Posts by Michelle Lasko on 4/5/2012
This past month our team found ourselves working in Roma communities for the most part. Travelling to various cities preaching, sharing our story, and praying for people that were sick, oppressed or just wanted more of God and who he is.
Other days were filled with going to orphanages to spend time with the orphans, cleaning yards, or paint the inside of parts of the buildings.
This whole month was my favourite month.
I loved the ministry this past month. Whether it was working in the Roma communities, Orphanages, or helping teach singing or guitar. The best part of our ministry for me was our contacts, our translators and the church that felt like my family. Even if it was for only one month I was there. They are my family forever.
Yavor, our main contact was simply incredible. He was trusting the moment we met him and he took care of us and invited us into his family with open arms. The kind spirit he carries and the love he has for the people of the city and the country of Bulgaria was something that is very admiring.
Victor, Yavor's brother, always spoke boldly and for me I knew he spoke from his heart and in the spirit. Though we didn't always get to spend time with him I know that he is a man after God who would fight for the Lord's justice.
Teresa, Victor's wife, I saw saw her as having a gentle and humble spirit. She spoke calmly and boldly and honestly is a Proverbs 31 woman. Artistic and kind she always had an openness towards us and took time to pour into our team. Even if she didn't know that she was.
Auchi, is a teddy bear (not really, but he's so wonderful). He owns the shop in the basement of the club, but he has become family to the Kostov family. I have seen the kids jumping, hugging, attacking and Auchi just holding them like an awesome uncle would. He is so kind and tenderhearted.
Bisa, our room mate for the month. He was incredible, there were days he would wake in the middle of the night to let people into the apartment. He shared his story with us which I would say would make a great novel. He then made us dinner on two occasions which was so delicious. He is simply a remarkable man.
Sarah, is beautiful and one of the most wonderful teenagers I have met. She is sweet and constantly strives to make others feel comfortable. She is open and caring, full of love and laughter. I am so blessed to have been able to spend the month getting to know her.
Daniel, whom we were able to share his sixteenth birthday with, is an incredible man. Talented musically and artistically. He is somewhat quite, and a thinker. Loves adventure, is so kind and such a sweet guy. I love that he writes music, and writes it from his heart.
Mattias, is funny, passionate and dedicated. Loves to be apart of what is going on and is a natural leader. He has a gentle and caring heart and has lots to say, but when he speaks it usually has wisdom in whatever he is talking about. He is just wonderful.
Philip, is awesome. I told him that if I were a boy that I would be like him. He's kinda a big gamer, but what I find great is how he tends to hurt himself constantly, which is what I have in common with the man. He is incredibly funny, even through translation. Wise and speaks in truth.
Noah, a hilarious six year old. Who loves to play ninja!
Each and every person I was blessed to work with this past month. Even ones I had not mentioned. Which include more of the youth, Paully, and pretty much all of Bulgaria. I will cherish each of them in my heart forever. They all helped and continue to help bring the kingdom of heaven to earth. I could go on continuously about each of them. There are so many wonderfully things about each of them that make them, them and make them uniquely great!
Thank you each of you for offering all of yourselves to bless our team and for shinning so brightly so that all may see His glory! I love each of you dearly and won't be the same because you are in my life, and I hope you all will be forever.
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Posted in General Posts by Michelle Lasko on 4/3/2012
I was abruptly awakened from my nap on our train from Sofia, Bulgaria to Belgrade, Serbia by a man's rear in my face. Still somewhat sleepy it took me a minute to realize what was going on.
At first I just thought it was the conductor coming to check our tickets as per usual on trains. Except no where in sight was the conductor nor any other employee from the train. Instead there were two men. One in the doorway that lowered a large bag to the floor and the other man. Who was thought it was a good day to stick his behind in my face.
Next thing the guy is telling Dusty and Raquel to move. Apparently he NEEDED something from under the seats. As I looked closer, and saw the un-named man pulling out something that sounded heavy. Then I noticed it was black and in the shape of a gun.
Wait, what......those were my thoughts. Gun smuggling in my cabin, right in front of my face.
The journey didn't start off nice to begin with. First men yelling at us to give them money for nothing, and then gun smuggling. You would think I would be up for hours only thinking of the worst things that could happen, but nope. I trust that I am protected by a bigger God than a gun, so danger doesn't tend to phase me all that often.
So I snuggled back up and went right back to sleep.
The End.
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Posted in General Posts by Michelle Lasko on 3/31/2012
Leaving Bulgaria was one of the worst goodbyes on the race. It may be tied with the time I had to leave Nicolas and Calvin in Swaziland. Which I should add I will still cry thinking about those little guys, or when I watch videos or look at pictures of them.
the club
However Vidin was no different. Normally when I know the goodbye is coming, I tend to seclude myself. Or take a breath. Which would mean on numerous nights prior to our actual goodbye I would have to leave the building and go outside, sit and take a breather. Get my head together, and tell myself not to do what tends to come naturally and walk away. Avoiding spending time so it hurts a little less saying goodbye. Which I tried, maybe I didn't fully succeed, but man did it hurt leaving.
For the two nights prior to actually leaving I found myself crying more, and more. Actually probably our last week in Vidin I found myself crying at night.
The night that Daniel, Mattias, Noah, Sarah and Philip made us incredible candy pizzas, I bawled. I avoided anyone seeing of course. Or in my head I don't think anyone knew. Okay except for Raquel, but that's it! I possitive of that.
candy pizza...amazing.
looks like a giant cookie, but it's filled with chocolates and cookies...and other goodness.
yumm...
We may have destroyed the pizzas.
Or the nights when Bisa, our room mate for the month, would make us dinner.
All of their generousity made me feel completely humble. Honestly the love they all poured on us made us feel at home. Part of a family and loved.
They gave our team the best month we could ever imagine, and I am so thankful God has brought each of them into my life and that I was blessed to live there for the month.
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Posted in General Posts by Michelle Lasko on 3/14/2012
Simply because in one day I was proposed to, given socks from a gypsy woman (as well as pastries) and two dents in my hand....courtesy of a dog in the gypsy village.... Click here to continue reading...
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Posted in General Posts by Michelle Lasko on 3/9/2012
I, Michelle Catherine Lasko, was asked to give people singing lessons and help teach guitar lessons. How is that humanly possible!?! Singing lessons was something on my "dreamlist" to take and now here I am days away from giving singing lessons.
Can I say my first thoughts were "Oh God, what on earth are you thinking!?!"
It's funny how things that scare us the most, we love the most. For me music + me + sharing my music = a whole lot of space for hurt. In the past I had let others ideas about my talent take presidence above what God has to say about it. Now I find him using that more and more. Putting me in positions where I have to sing, play and just do.
The funny thing now is that it no longer scares me so much and I tend to not care so much about others thoughts. All I know is I need to be doing what I have been put on earth to do. Whether music, art, photography and or any other things. Mostly to love though.
All those things I just mentioned are simply things I thoroughly enjoy, but above all I want to be known for love. Not my love, because that can be pretty disgusting, but God's love. That's all.
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